Thursday, September 3, 2009

Barry

This isn't going to be a usual rambler post; it's an attempt at catharsis while I sit at my desk with my mind reeling. I've spilt most of my life on this site, so I might as well let you in to a bit of the raw stuff.

You see, I just heard that a friend has passed away. I've known him for about 15 years, and met him through the church. He was a minister in the methodist church, and we met to discuss a camp he wanted to join on with his youth while I was a youth pastor. We clicked instantly. I can remember us sitting all formally in his office in Boksburg chatting about the ministry and our concerns and satisfactions. He became my mentor - he was a minister after all. He'd hate that I wrote that.

I could tell you all the memories that keep flooding but it's just going to sound trite. But, all I can say is, Barry changed my life. And I know a lot of people will say that.

I wrote him a letter to tell him that I was gay. Being a minister I knew he had a biblical stance on homosexuality. And we had chatted about his reservations about gay people. I was petrified about how he would respond. But he wrote back (and I still have the letter). His first words were "wow, how does one respond when you hear a friend is gay". Such an appropriate response. He affirmed our friendship and never changed the way he responded to me.

I will always appreciate that. He gave me hope, where I had walked away because of rejection. He even made me promise that he'd be the minister officiating if I ever got married. Hehe, chop.

Barry, you've touched so many people's lives and I'm grateful to have been one of them. I know that there are a whole lot of very sad people out there who feel your loss immensely. I know some have no words. As usual, I have too many words.

I will always remember the laughs, the joking, the tears, the intense debates, our attempts at rebellion by swearing, your intense love for God, the Church and his people ... and the songs. Man, I'll never forget the songs.

RIP my friend. Thank you for the time you gave me.

21 comments:

John van de Laar said...

Like you, I have too many words, and like you I had to get it out online. But, I think Barry is chuckling about that now.

What a great man. We'll miss him terribly!

Rambler said...

Yep, we will

strength to you brother... feeling your sadness, and joy at knowing the man...

Hayley said...

I am so sorry. He sounds like an incredible guy!

Chet said...

Clive, you never have too many words.

I really am sorry for your trauma and loss of a beloved friend.
News of unexpected death always bring to memory the first line of my moms homily: Death comes like a thief in the night.

FJ will offer you support... Use It!

Take Care Maatjie.

Rambler said...

Thanks Hayley...

Rambler said...

Thanks Chet... yeah, looking forward to heading home...

And these things remind us about our own lives... much to contemplate right now

Shiny said...

xxx

Gill said...

So sorry Clive. You have painted a word picture of a wonderful guy. {hugs}

- said...

Hey Clive
December camps will always be one of the first memories that come into our minds. Barry was a legend. I share your pain. I will miss him. Hell, I miss him already!
No words....
Delme

Rambler said...

Thank Shiny and Gill...

and Delme, sheesh, as I've sat at my desk pretty shocked, I've been flooded by so many memories. You're such a big part of those memories too... made me think of how much I walked away from... and, man, I'm sad...

Strength to you too Delme...

allie said...

Such a moving post, Clive. The guy sounds like a legend - from what you have said, and what some of your commenters have said.
People like that leave such a gap.
Hugs

Hasan said...

Sorry for your loss clive!! :-(

Rambler said...

Allie - yeah, he was :)

Thanks Hasan... it's his wife and kids that I'm praying for now... such a hard knock.

Frank J said...

I never new Barry.

But understand that he's one of those guys who had a massive impact on your (and presumably many others) life.

All I can say is - I feel a deep sadness for those, near and far, especially his family, who have been left with a huge and unexpected gap in their lives today... and forever onwards.

His memory and goodness is kept alive in those left behind. Strenght to all those greiving today.

FJ

jacki janse van rensburg said...

oh no! sorry to hear that.

{{{hugs}}}

Simply-Mel said...

Oh my friend. What devastating news for those left to mourn his passing but we all know his life has just begun! Sounds utterly trite, I guess.

Much love to you.

xx

digitaldion (Dion Forster) said...

Thanks Clive - appreciate the post.

Barry ('Zoob', as I knew him) will be missed!

With hope in Christ,

Dion

Anonymous said...

{{{{ hug }}}} Everyone has said everything already... my heart really just goes out to you and all who knew him. Caio. lisa.

Meriel said...

What a special tribute. I wish we could have brought him home safe and alive.

Ordinarylife said...

He touched so many people's lives and a lot of my friends credit him with gettting them to go (and keep going) to church.

He sounds like an amazing man and one who will be sorely missed.

My thoughts are with his family, wife and kids. And all those who knew and were touched by him.

Wenchy said...

I'm sorry.... but thankful that he showed you kindness.