Monday has a silver lining...

Monday and I have resumed our fight to the death once more and today it feels like Monday is winning. Monday usually wins, so that's nothing new. Monday's a lot bigger than me and has a lot more experience in defeating others than I do so I'm not ashamed of the defeat. I've worked out that (if all goes well and nothing CSI-like happens) then I have about 40 years left of challenging Monday. That's 2 080 more Mondays left to face. Next week makes it 2 079 and counting...

I will win yet.

Monday does have a potential silver lining though. On Friday I returned home to FJ sitting in a darker than normal house and a look of concern on his face. It wasn't a look I had seen before - it was a mixture of concern, dread and sorrow. Like he was going to tell me devastating news that would have me howling in the corner throwing ash over myself while I whipped my back to a pulp. so naturally, seeing his dread I thought he was going to tell me that Shakira was releasing a new album. That always invokes the weeping in a corner look from me. Any singer who makes goat-giving-birth-like noises with a howl in between should not be allowed to record. Her and any of the South African idols.

Annnnnnyyyyywwwwwwwwaaayyyyy...

I saw the "you-ain't-gonna-like-this-look" face and put my bag down to sit next to FJ in the cold (well, it was warm, but I'm trying to be dramatic here) house. He clasped my hand and said something under his breath.

FJ: *muffle whispered gobbly-de-gook*
Rambler: It's that Shakira isn't it?
FJ:(with an even more sorrowful look) No, it's not...
Rambler: *gasping* Worse than Shakira?
FJ: *nods*
Rambler: (ripping shirt with bare hands) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (imagine it in slow motion if you will)
FJ: Settle...
Rambler: Worse than Shakira? Gareth Cliff has been given a second season?
FJ: *looks at Rambler oddly and shrugging...*
Rambler: What then? Nothing can be worse...
FJ: *muffle whispered gobbly-de-gook*
Rambler: *sounding hysterical* okay this is bad... what is it? Another ABBA cover done by Amor? What? What? WHAT? *ripping rest of shirt off*
FJ: the DSTV is broken...


There was no reason to live after that. I spent an hour on the flooring lashing my bare back (I had ripped my shirt, remember?) with a rolled-up dish-towel while contemplating a weekend of having to entertain myself with things like talking, reading, walking the dogs, planning a wedding and seeing friends for coffee. The vicious thoughts were beaten out of me. I refused to move from the corner (I call it the wailing wall and use it often when attention-seeking. As one does.) and gnashed my teeth in hysteria until FJ trotted over. Well, he doesn't really trot. He's more of a determined I'll-fix-anything-because-I'm-a-farmer kind of guy and strutted over. No, strut is wrong. That's too John Travolta (by the way, have you heard Olivia Newton-John is going to play a lesbian icon). He, um, walked over and cooly whispered in my ear.

FJ: I spoke to the people in the estate and it's the communal dish which is broken. It will be fixed on Monday.

If it isn't fixed by the time I'm home, then I may become really (I mean, really) hysterical.



Hope you all had/have a fabulous Monday! Only 2079 to go (for me!)