Why shouldn't life be like a musical?

I had a conversation with a friend Simon a few years ago on Facebook. Now we chatted often and that particular day I had told him I was feeling a bit low. He responded by reminding me that we should always try live our lives as if we were in a musical... This is the conversation that ensued (and which he very cleverly found and published on his blog).

This is how it went:

Simon see? life should be a musical. then everything ALWAYS has a happy ending :)

Rambler except Carousel

Simon oh so there's an exception or two...

Rambler yep... you seen Carousel... her husband kills himself in the end and then they all sing"You'll never Walk Alone"... Lovely stuff
Can you tell I'm still in my pit of depression?

Simon hmmmm... and in Moulin Rouge Nicole Kidman dies too...
Ok so maybe musicals wasn't such a great theme...

Rambler Yes.. she dies while he sings "Come What May"
And in Grease Sandy starts smoking at the end so she'll probably die too...

Simon And in the Sound of Music they still have to leave their home and move to Switzerland which is a really expensive country and they have no income because Captain von Trapp lost his job and Maria doesn't exactly have much work experience. So they will be homeless...

Rambler Exactly... so they'll probably die...
And Evita dies...

Yes, Simon... why can't life be a musical?

Simon In Jesus Christ Superstar he was crucified!
OMG what have I done?

Rambler yes... he died too... but apparently he came back to life ... like the girl in Rent... so maybe all is not lost...

Simon ok so maybe musicals aren't a good analogy for life.
let me think up another tactic... that one failed miserably.

Rambler It was fun!

Simon just to point out... Christine and Raul still hooked up at the end of Phantom, so they were happy, and Joseph's whole family got to move to Egypt and eat as much as they wanted during the 7 years of famine... so they were happy too...

Rambler Yah, but she hooked up with a dude witha deformed face and with the way he sings he's probably gay... and lets not forget that Joseph's family first starved and the dad thought Joseph was dead. So he was depressed and malnourished. Eating probably made him die sooner... and Joseph wore make-up after meeting the Egyptians. Fag.

Simon so there is nothing wrong with a couple of homos... musicals were designed around us. Joseph looked much hotter with make-up btw... Joseph's family had a bad run but still had a happy ending. At least his dad died with a full tummy and was happy knowing his son was alive.

There is no way Phantom was gay. He would ...never have looked like that if he was. He would have turned to plastic surgery sooner and wouldn't wear black all the time.