Gay wedding Checklist 2

Three days before the wedding:

1. Make sure you're as nervous as hell and so excited you could just scream. CHECK
   
2. Be sure to have as many arguments with your spouse to be about random things like the colour of the flowers on the table and the order of the first three songs. CHECK
3. Be devastated that you've forgot to go to the tan-can so you look deliciously Mediterranean. CHECK
4. Start stressing about things like speeches, time-keeping and how you stop the father from passing out when you kiss. CHECK
5. Try to recover from a rather boozy bachelors (that could probably be best described as a hen party). CHECK
6. Try to ignore the flashbacks from your hen party. Of course you weren't running around with a blonde wig, black angel wings and a penis wand for all to admire. CHECK
7. No man, you never put the penis wand in your mouth. Not once, okay. CHECK
8. Try to manage a magazine going to print, studies, planning a wedding, not eating so you look skinny for the wedding, delirium from the not eating, planning a honeymoon to Madagascar and normal day-to-day life while you appear glamorous and in control to all who ask. CHECK
   
9. Start thinking of all the things you want to say about your gorgeous spouse-to-be and fall in love with him all over again. CHECK
10. Tell everyone you can that you'll be island-hopping through Madagascar in a week's time to anyone who will listen. CHECK
11. Scream two more sleeps at the start of every conversation. CHECK!